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Random rambles of me

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proof that god hates me. [Nov. 16th, 2006|12:43 pm]
Random rambles of me
[mood |crushedcrushed]

This post is going to emotional. You've been warned.

Some of you know that I am/was planning on having Gastric Bypass surgery. Actually I was going to have a new procedure called Gastric Banding - which is basically them placing a band around your stomach to make it smaller - without all the crazy side effects of re-routing your insides.

Well it seems that I must have missed a memo yesterday when they (the two surgeons), announced they would be peacing out.

At first, I got really pissed. Then I took a deep breath, and called the office. No one answered (of course, since they really aren't talking). So now I am upset.
I am upset because I finally felt like I might have had the tool to finally kick this piece of shit weight problem i've had since I was 9. It was my knight in shining armor essentially. It was going to help me be this new fabulous looking person that I thought I could only dream about.

You might be saying, well just get your ass to the gym and stop eating. Well ya see, i've done that. I have tried every diet known to man. I go to the gym at LEAST twioce a week (which might not seem like a lot, but its something). I am sick of being a fucking fatty. I want to be able to fit into a vera fricken wang wedding dress! I want to have a baby at some point in my life! I wanted this so badly.

I feel like it was a dream. I wasn't even going to tell people I was having it. I was only going to tell my parents, melisa, tricia, and doug. That is it.

I don't know what to do...

(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: musicdiva210
2006-11-19 03:24 pm (UTC)
hey - its actually going to all work out so i'm cool now! lol - I am still at the RAC - its still the same shit - but I like it - call me and we'll work out together :)
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[User Picture]From: bigbird1103
2006-11-18 09:21 pm (UTC)
Hey sweetie.
I'm sorry that the surgery didn't work out there for you. I just want you to know that I think you're beautiful. And I love you. I hope you're doing ok. *hugs and kisses*
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[User Picture]From: musicdiva210
2006-11-19 03:23 pm (UTC)
awww thanks angel! it actually is going to all work out fine - the hospital jumped the gun I suppose. How are you doing?! I hope you are doing well - and I love you too!! When will you be in rochester again?
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