|proof that god hates me.
||[Nov. 16th, 2006|12:43 pm]
Random rambles of me
This post is going to emotional. You've been warned.
Some of you know that I am/was planning on having Gastric Bypass surgery. Actually I was going to have a new procedure called Gastric Banding - which is basically them placing a band around your stomach to make it smaller - without all the crazy side effects of re-routing your insides.
Well it seems that I must have missed a memo yesterday when they (the two surgeons), announced they would be peacing out.
At first, I got really pissed. Then I took a deep breath, and called the office. No one answered (of course, since they really aren't talking). So now I am upset.
I am upset because I finally felt like I might have had the tool to finally kick this piece of shit weight problem i've had since I was 9. It was my knight in shining armor essentially. It was going to help me be this new fabulous looking person that I thought I could only dream about.
You might be saying, well just get your ass to the gym and stop eating. Well ya see, i've done that. I have tried every diet known to man. I go to the gym at LEAST twioce a week (which might not seem like a lot, but its something). I am sick of being a fucking fatty. I want to be able to fit into a vera fricken wang wedding dress! I want to have a baby at some point in my life! I wanted this so badly.
I feel like it was a dream. I wasn't even going to tell people I was having it. I was only going to tell my parents, melisa, tricia, and doug. That is it.
I don't know what to do...